The Gracefulness of Being Mindful!

Do you ever catch yourself going through the motions of life only to stop and reflect where have I been? I spent a week rushing here and there and I don't know what I accomplished.

How often do we stop and notice what is going on around us? The universe that is full of beauty and full of life and goodness despite what the media tells us.

I love watching geese not only because they are beautiful, but because they never seem to be in a hurry. Today I was going from one building to another building, and I saw two geese standing right next to the building. I am quite certain they were not there when I entered the building five minutes before. Or, did I walk by with my agenda trying to complete my goals before the 5 pm end of the day.

Where is it that we are rushing to? When we get there we are off to rushing somewhere else. Do we ever spend time in solitude? I think accomplishments are important in life, but somewhere they take on more importance than being. Some of us who didn't achieve as children were shamed by our parents and solitude and being never because important. We turned into type A personalities trying harder and harder strengthening the habit of perfectionism.

This has been a trait that I have had to work on a great deal in my life. Not everyone is familar with perfectionism, but it does not mean that you are perfect at everything. No one can be perfect at everything. Perfectionists have very high values, and when they make mistakes it can be a personal blow to their sense of self.

I think we can all work at being gentlier with ourselves. Here are some ways that have been helpful to me to be more mindful and more gentle with myself:

1. Spend time meditating. I often meditate to soft jazz.

2. Do something creative. I have started taking square dancing classes.

3. Find a church or religous organization where you feel a connection. I grew up a Catholic. I have experimented with several different religons until I found one that made me feel like I was at home.

4. Therapy and body work can be very helpful in mindfulness and gentleness to self. When I gone to one or the other in the past, I remind myself that I am caring for my spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

5. Spending time in silence reflecting. Reflection is how we become wise. We learn to love ourselves in spite of our shortcomings. We reflect how good it is to be kind to ourselves, and thus we are in turn good to others.

Like the picture of the goose, mindfulness can be as simple as stopping ourselves during the day and taking a deep breath. Life is too short to simply go through the motions of life. Live life gracefully like a swan. Make each motion count!

Peace.

The love of paradox

Water can be a paradox like many things in life. It can cleanse the body, cleanse the mind, cleanse even the soul. Water can also be destructive when it turns to floods and washes away homes. Water quenches our parched thirst, but it can also drown us. Living with paradox like living with disapproval, and conflict, suspending judgement and uncertainty all have to do with paradox. Despite our best efforts, our most educated hunches, and our most cautious ruminations, we still have to live with some element of risk in our lives.
Sometimes this requires that we must be willing to face danger, take educated risks, and face disapproval. People--even our families are not going to agree with us--yet we should not let that be a reason to stop us.
In the past, I have allowed it to stop me from facing my future with courage. I now know that what I did was cowardly, and I was unloving toard myself. The biggest sin we can ever commit, in my opinion, is to not stand up for ourselves no matter whether we are sure of what the outcome is going to be or not.
Many times I have paid the price of sticking to my beliefs and values. It has been uncomfortable and sometimes almost unbearable. But it has taught me a lot about wisdom and most importantly it has taught me that I matter and so do you. In this great Universe, we all are special and we are all part of the tapestry of life.
So even though things may not make sense sometimes, and people may not understand you, continue to follow your heart. Learning to love paradox and the unknown is a sign of real wisdom. I love this quote by Rumi:
"Anyone who knows me, should learn to know me again;
For I am like the Moon, you will see me with a new face everyday."
Peace

Being gentle with ourselves is a process

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do
to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect
to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
― Pema Chödrön

I painted this image, and I know that it is not a great work of art. That is ok because I still can enjoy it. I still can look at the colors and they make me smile. Somehow, this image reminds me of the southwest which I have always longed to visit, but have never been to.

Learning to be gentle with ourselves is a form of wisdom, creativity, and self-awareness. We are after all part of the universal design of all things. We were created in the image of God or Buddha or whatever your beliefs are.

Sometimes people will consider being gentle with ourselves as being uncaring toward others. They reason that if we are not meeting their needs, we are being selfish. In reality, we cannot take care of other's needs until we care for our own. Being gentle with ourselves is a gift we are giving the world because then we can give the best that we have to offer to others. It will not be out of obligation or frustration, but out of the spirit of true giving and love.

Learning to be wise is a never ending journey, and if you think you know what it is that is probably when you are getting further away from it. I am just trying to grasp tiny pieces of an entire tapestry that I may never and none of us may never understand. There are pieces to the puzzle of wisdom that do not fit neatly together. It is a process that can take years, a lifetime, or that can never be developed. But, it is worth going through the process. If the only thing we learn about wisdom is how to be more caring and gentle to ourselves and others, I would say that it is probably worthwhile.))

Peace

Being Curious

I learn so much from my two cats Banjo and Lucky because they are curious about everything. If I bring a paperbag in that they haven't seen, or a new piece of funiture, or new clothes they have to check out anything that is different. They love it when I open the curtains in the mornings, and they can look outside and watch the squirels and birds from the big windows in my apartment.

Often times I forget and am rushing around trying to get ready for work, packing my lunch, and my cats want attention. I am thinking about all of the work that I have to do that day, all of my responsibilities, all of the things that might not go as planned. My cats are only concerned about the present moment. I think that is where many of us get stuck. We see life as a problem to be solved, and not as a present moment to be celebrated.

Just taking this one breath should be a celebration. . . because we do not know how many breathes we have. We were put on this earth to experience joy, to have wonderful exciting experiences, and to see the beauty in our days.

I have been reading about the importance of play, and the way some children and some adults have never been given the chance to play. Play is an important part of being curious, and also an important part of developing into healthy individuals. I like what Fred Donaldson says in his book Playing By Heart, "Play is an invitation to unlearn, to be a beginner." That is great news to all of us perfectionists out there. We don't have to be an expert artist, dancer, writer, singer or anything else to try it out.

Let's just be curious. If someone asks you why you are taking lessons in writing poetry say, "I'm curious about it." We can be like the furry little cats who see everything in the present moment as new and exciting!! Let's bring some joy into our lives and into other people's!

Peace

Dare To Slow Down

What is it everyone is in such a hurry for? We see people rushing to get to work, rushing to get home from work, rushing to go to church, rushing to go to the mall. Trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can be is difficult if we are always rushing, always frazzled, always anxious. Freedom begins as being open to looking at different ways of acting and being.

We do not have to give into the idea that rushing through our tasks makes us more important, less expendable, or a foot up on anyone else. Deliberatly dare to slow down your life when everything in you or around you is screaming rush.

When you dare to slow down, your inner wisdom allows you to go to that gentle place inside that says, "I'm ok. I don't need to be the employee of the month, or an "A" on my report card, or a plaque on my wall. Those things would be nice, but I am ok. Rushing is not going to get me there any sooner.

I can enjoy this moment and just be present and simply be happy with who I am. The Universe will take care of whatever I need. I can catch myself when I begin to rush and smile.

This weekend I was helping my brother move, and I was rushing trying to keep up with the younger guys. I had to chuckle at myself, and I sat down and took a break. I had to remind myself that life is not a marathon race. It is to be tasted and savored.

Dare to slow down. The world will not come to an end--I promise.))

Peace

Mindfulness

I love art as an inspiration for writing, and this artwork of wild flowers speaks to me in many ways.

I love the beautiful shades of blue because they bring me peace and calmness. The sky has a little lavendar in it which is deep and provocative drawing me in. The deep blue flowers almost look like butterflies ready to take off in the wind. The yellow flowers suggest a sense of the power of nature. The little white flowers are a symbol of purity.

We have so much beauty that is around us, but we often miss it. In the book The Zen of Seeing, Frederick Franck writes, " Feel that you are alone with it on Earth! That it contains all the riddles of life and death." That is living artfully and mindfully.
We live in a beautiful world where treasures are uncovered every day. We walk and drive past beauty every day taking it for granted for the most part.

Let us begin to breath in the air, look around, and use all of our senses. Take in the beauty even where it does not seem like there is beauty, and be present. Mindfulness is a gift and it requires work. But once we begin using it, we would never trade it in. When we begin seeing the world in all of its grace and beauty, we will not want to turn back.

Peace.

Nurturing Relationships

I grew up as a child working on a farm. My father raised cattle and tobacco among other things. Being a farmer is a lot of work.

To make plants grow healthy, they need to be planted in healthy soil, fertilized, watered, weeded, and cared for until harvesting.

Much like plants, relationships require care to keep them healthy and bring them to fruitation. You cannot plant the seeds and abandon them or they will be overtaken by weeds.

But you can also over water plants and care for them too much. Just like plants, relationships require a balance. I am far from an expert on relationships. In fact I am writing this post to organize and learn about my own feelings about relationships.

I, do think there are some basic ingredients in caring for a relationship, much like there is in caring for a plant.

In a relationship you need: communication that is open, trust, patience, balance, compassion, equality, fun, things in common, resilience, courage, and most important love.

Someone much wiser than myself once told me, there are all kinds of relationships, but they all require work. But they are all worth it. We are all divine.

Peace