For many people, holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas are a great way to gather with family, and friends whom you have not seen for much of the year. These occassions can be looked forward to with joy and longing.
For others, holidays are often times of conflict and family chaos. Perhaps we did not grow up in healthy families with healthy parents. There can be a lot of pressure put on about expecting things to be a certain way. We expect our family to be like the television show "The Waltons" or whatever "perfect" family you grew up watching as a child on television.
Families are not perfect, but that is the beauty of them. They are messy; they have bruises and bumps and imperfections. They say hurtful things and do destructive things to themselves and to others. Sometimes we have to know when to distance ourselves from them. We can always take away some wisdom from our families. We can always learn something about the human condition from them.
We can also learn something about wisdom from healthy families too. They can be good role models for us. I have a friend who has a very loving and supportive family. Sometimes we cannot get that from our own families. If that is the case, we have to learn to reparent ourselves. This can take time and effort. That is one reason I am keeping this blog. I often think that my family has to meet my expectations for being the "perfect family." This is my way of saying to myself, "They have their own needs too!" We all do.
One of my goals for this year is to go into the new year by learning to take care of my own needs instead of looking to others to care of them. Maybe this is a resolution we can work on. This will certainly bring us more inner peace and hopefully more wisdom. . .
Blessings
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